Is This the Woman I Married?
You’re an expectant father. The “expectant” part means that you can’t
see your baby-to-be until delivery, so there isn’t much concrete,
observable phenomena to hang your hat on. However, you can see your
partner, and she has more than enough observable phenomena to keep
you hopping.
Hormones rule pregnancy. Hormones, emotions, and psychology rule a
pregnant woman, and it’s sometimes hard to tell where one starts and
another begins. Meanwhile, you also have new levels of hormones, emotions,
and psychology coursing through you during pregnancy (scientists call it
“couvade syndrome”—the actual physical changes men have that most folks
call “sympathy pains”).
During your pregnancy, all these factors will create what looks like (and
often is) chaos. Believe it or not, this chaos can bring you and your
partner closer together, provided you know how to respond.
Inside your partner’s uterus, the baby is undergoing rapid physical growth
and change. Your partner is going through both interior and exterior
physical change, too. Her belly is getting bigger, her skin may change
tint, her breasts may get larger, and so on.
But the impact of what’s going inside her emotions and thought process
will have a much greater impact on your daily life. Unfortunately,
it’s harder to predict the timing of those emotions and thought processes
than it is to predict the physical development of a fetus.
Some women have meltdown crying jags every day in the third month, while
others have them during the eighth month. Some women have them in both
months (and every month in between) and others never have any. Some
couples see an intense increase in sexual desire and pleasure during early
months of pregnancy, while others don’t (morning sickness isn’t very sexy).
There’s no surefire “normal” pattern to what a woman will feel as she
progresses through pregnancy. Nor is there one paint-by-the-numbers way
for a man to experience his partner’s pregnancy.
But never fear! You are in luck. In fact, as the expectant dad, you are
in a better position than anyone else to make this time satisfying and
even fun. You are also in the best position to help pregnancy deepen your
relationship with your partner and your new child. That requires some
awareness and work.
Adapted from
The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Being an Expectant
Father by Joe Kelly and used by permission.