Be Your Own Kind of Dad
I think every prospective parent should watch the movie Parenthood
before getting pregnant. The film could easily be called Fatherhood,
since the main characters are the dads. That movie makes clear some
central truths about fathering:
- It is like a roller coaster.
- You can’t know for sure how your actions will affect your children.
- You can guarantee that your actions do affect your children.
My favorite line from Parenthood is when Keanu Reeves’ character Tod
says, “You need license to buy a dog or drive a car. Hell, you even
need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any (expletive
deleted) a**hole be a father.”
Of course, by visiting this website, you already show your commitment
to be and involved and effective father. But with a bit of crass humor
(the kind guys like, right?), Tod explains the biggest dilemma a new
father faces: No one trained me for this job. The baby doesn’t come
with an operator’s manual, plug-and-play attachments, or downloadable upgrades.
Despite this, dads today have more freedom than ever to take
“nontraditional” approaches to fathering. Many men take time away from
their careers to stay home with the baby while their partners return to
the workplace. Other men work part-time or telecommute so they can commune
with baby every possible moment. Some men even teach Head Start and
early childhood parent education classes!
In other words, you don’t have to father the same way as your father or
grandfather did. You can be your own kind of Dad. That opportunity is
liberating and exciting, but can also be disconcerting. After all, it’s
harder to find examples to follow when you’re doing things in a new way.
But did you know that nature provides tools that you may not yet be conscious of?
Learn more by reading There is No Owner’s Manual.
Adapted from
The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Being an Expectant
Father by Joe Kelly and used by permission.