How to Motivate Fathers
Certain feelings about a child’s development trigger visceral
reactions in fathers, and thus can be great motivators for
them – and their involvement. Each of these hot buttons has
components you can “hook” into scientific areas of study.
Fathers and children are drawn to the personal benefits when
education and activities address these hooks. Survey your
father clientele to discover additional hot buttons and the
sciences to which they relate.
Pride
Ask a dad for a “most memorable” moment of his fatherhood, and
he’ll describe a time when he felt most proud. Proud of his
child’s accomplishments and qualities, or proud of his own
parenting accomplishment. Girls sense this and want to win
Dad’s pride.
Dad: I want to be proud of you. Don’t let me down.
Daughter: I want to make you proud and keep your trust.
Performance
Men and boys are acculturated to judge themselves and others on their
actions and accomplishments. Women and girls are acculturated to
judge themselves and others by how well relationships are maintained.
This can make for prickly misunderstandings between dad and daughter.
A father’s emphasis on performance can also provide valuably high
expectations and motivation for his daughter.
Dad: I expect you to do well. I expect a lot from you.
Daughter: I will stretch and take risks to meet his expectations and
win his praise.
Sexuality
Especially with daughters, dads fear that girls will be manipulated by
boys (or men) into inappropriate sexual activity. One of a father’s
greatest struggles is accepting that his daughter emerges into a sexual
being and takes a sexual partner.
Dad: Don’t do anything sexual
Daughter: Why don’t you trust me?
Sports
Men grow up steeped in sports. Thanks to Title IX, modern generations of
girls are also growing up with sports interests. This gives fathers and
daughters a whole new field on which to connect and communicate, especially
during times that may be otherwise difficult.
Dad: Sharing and teaching. Pride in her accomplishments
Daughter: Father’s attention and affirmation. Improved knowledge.
Ways of the world
Fathers are more likely to work (and work longer hours) outside the home.
They are more likely to manage family finances. Fathers often represent the
“outside world” to their children. This is a very valuable heritage to openly
share with daughter, helping her be ready for the evolving role of women in
the “outside” world. Dad can do take-my-daughter-to-work (and financial
literacy) every day.
Dad: I don’t want her to be poor, vulnerable, or dependent. I want her to succeed.
Daughter: I want to experience passion like the passion Dad feels for work.